Letter from Cairo dated 22nd April 1927

Dearest Mama,

I trust you are both well. Wedgy told me that you had been having a spot of bother with a rogue badger. Why a badger would seek solace in Cook's undergarments is anyone's guess. True, they are extraordinarily generous in size, in order to accommodate a rump seldom seen outside the occupants of a dairy farm and the weather has been ghastly as I understand it, so maybe it was looking for warmth and shelter. I can only guess how Cook reacted when she found the creature wrapped up in it, in the washing basket. To then give chase after the creature bolted with the garments trailing behind it, must have been a sight to behold. Apparently the Gardener needed to douse her in water at the end to stop her overheating; a situation very similar to that of the foaming hide of a horse after it has completed a steeplechase under the baking hot sun I imagine, though she is no thoroughbred by any means.

In fact, the appearance of Cook with her unique countenance, graceless poise and thunderous demeanour was always guaranteed to strike fear in the bravest of hearts in any situation. The creature was fortunate not to have been caught. It wouldn't have surprised me if she would have put it in the pot for Sunday lunch with papa being none the wiser despite picking out Badger hairs from between his teeth.

Nothing exciting happening here except a minor uprising. Happens every week. I say uprising but it was more of show of solidarity and strength against the authorities which demonstrated ironically very little strength or solidarity as only five chaps turned up. I understand there were to be more but there was some confusion as to where they were meeting up, so ten ended up waiting in a shop drinking coffee. The five ringleaders on the other hand ran into the market place, brandishing swords, shouting angrily at the bustling market only to bump into a large battalion of heavily armed British soldiers, at which point they lowered their swords and sauntered off quietly into the crowd. All in all, a bit underwhelming but the swordplay was just magnificent.

Just to let you know,  I will be coming home in a couple of weeks. Bunty is getting married! Yes, who'd have thought it. Anyway, will send a telegram when I have a firm date so that you can get my room ready.

Your ever loving son,

Jack