Dear Wedgy,
Sorry I haven't written for while but I have been otherwise engaged and you'll never guess by what. Bunty, that complete arse of a cousin of mine is over staying with me. You remember him, short, thick and annoying; the sort of chap that bumbles around chaotically like a whirlwind causing untold damage and carnage and then walks away unscathed. He is staying at the behest of my mother as a favour to my auntie for 3 months. They seem to think he could be helpful. And he would be, if only I were in the demolition business. Sadly his brand of idiocy and simple minded clumsiness are not the qualities I look for when dealing with fragile artefacts which are several thousand years old.
On more than one occasion, I have felt the overwhelming urge to clasp my hands around his neck and squeeze very hard. Fortunately for Bunty he has a neck akin very much in size and durability to that of a Rhino. Should he ever face the prospect of the hangman's noose, then I have no doubt that the rope will yield before he does. Knowing my luck, instead of trying out other methods of execution, the law would classify his neck as an act of God and he would be allowed to go free. Still, only another 2 months, 3 weeks and 5 days.
Do hope you and yours are well.
Write soon.
Jack
No comments:
Post a Comment
Note: only a member of this blog may post a comment.