Letter sent on 3rd March 1927 to "Bunty"

Dear Bunty,

Thanks ever so for the letter. I have to admit that your handwriting with it's trademark style similar to a woodlouse wandering through a blob of ink style was hard to read at first but the drawings really helped. I particularly liked the one of the barmaid who has caught your eye. Very life like and no doubt anatomically accurate.

Thank you also for the packet of bacon from your finest butcher in Scunthorpe. No doubt it is a rare treat indeed when fresh but sadly its appeal has somewhat waned after a ten day journey by boat. Nevertheless, I appreciated the sentiment and the swarm of flies which accompanied it.

Regarding the questions you posed in your letter, let me answer them in order:

No.
Absolutely not.
Don't you dare.
Over my dead body or yours.

Please do not feel in anyway obliged to correspond to me in the near future; say the next twenty years.

Lukewarm regards.

Jack.

(Editor's note: It may appear to the uninitiated, that in correspondence, Jack is excessively cruel to Bunty but the two do have history together as later correspondence will reveal. Unfortunately Bunty was not a popular fellow either in public or private life, leading one deeply inebriated journalist to once comment that Bunty "took the C##t out of Scunthorpe when he left." An unpleasant comment, but one the captured the popular mood nonetheless."